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Feature article
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Can the Hulkster rev up ratings for TNA?
By The Mayor of Parts Unknown
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Sweating it out as the ballots are counted from Tuesday’s mayoral election…
— The Mayor |
Welcome to the Show, True Believers! Yes, Tuesday was the big day here in Parts Unknown. Election Day!
I understand turnout reached Record Numbers as slews of registered voters here in our Fair City lined up to cast their ballots, choosing between either Yours Truly or Mr. Wrestling Pi to lead Parts Unknown into the next decade.
No results yet. We don’t rely on computerized machines or newfangled shenanigans when it comes time to cast our votes. Nope. Instead, the top-notch Parts Unknown Election Committee counts those votes by hand.
Beloved, I can barely stand to take a hanging suplex — much less deal with a hanging chad.
Onto matters regarding the Mat Game. Specifically, the story that set the wrestling world on its collective keyster…
Hulk Hogan has signed with TNA.
Not only is the Hulkster headed to the land of laser lights in the Impact Zone, he’s taking Eric Bischoff and Jason Hervey (the older brother from “The Wonder Years”) with him.
It’s still unclear what this means for the Little Promotion That Won’t. For now, Vince Russo is still writing the shows for TNA. However, Hogan can’t stand Vince Russo and is claiming that he has complete control of the company, only having to answer to the folks in TNA who write the checks.
Russo’s not won many friends in TNA, with recent reports that a lot of the company’s homegrown wrestlers — including current TNA champeen A.J. Styles and Christopher Daniels — are unhappy with his creative direction.
If Styles and Daniels aren’t happy now, how would they feel if Hogan came in and booked them in a program against the Nasty Boys? I’m just sayin…
Hogan is talking about bringing in a bunch of major stars — translation, his buddies — and teaching TNA’s young talent “the lost art of professional wrestling.”
Here’s this Masked Man’s problem with the whole thing. I’ve long felt TNA had a better crack at long-term relevance by emphasizing its differences from WWE. Instead, over the years, TNA has looked more like WWE Lite, bringing in a Conga line of WWE castoffs. Now, with Hogan, “TNA” could end up standing for “Thunder, Next Act.”
But let’s assume Hogan does reach out to some of the big-name free agents in the business. Who does he bring in? Rob Van Dam? The artist formerly known as Ken Kennedy? Ric Flair’s name also has been tossed about.
You’d be hard pressed to find a bigger Flair Fanatic than me — outside of the Kevin Castle Household, that is.
But do Hogan and Flair equal ratings in 2009? Each is pretty over-exposed by now and, let’s be honest, a little sad.
Flair’s money problems are fairly well-known by now, and it’s sort of disappointing to see him get this tremendous sendoff from WWE and then turn right around less than two years later to get back in the ring because he needs another paycheck.
Then there’s Hogan, who paraded his family in front of the TV cameras in the reality train wreck called “Hogan Knows Best.” He’s since gotten divorced, seen his son go up the river and watched his family disintegrate. Hulkster’s also written a tell-all book that came out the same week he signed with TNA. Pure coincidence, no doubt. Incidentally, Hogan did a major media tour last week and mentioned TNA about as many times as he did Dr. George Zahorian. (Know your history, Beloved…)
Speaking of conspiracy theories, there’s a funny one flying around regarding Hogan coming to TNA. To sum up, it suggests that Hogan is secretly under Vince McMahon’s control, and signed with TNA to destroy it from within for Vinnie Mac.
Hoo boy. Next thing you’ll be telling me is that there was a guy on the grassy knoll. And that it was Hillbilly Jim.
I don’t think Hogan makes some magical difference that lifts TNA up from relative obscurity and creates a second incarnation of the Monday Night Wars.
The big question’s whether his influence behind the scenes can bring more sense to TNA’s plot lines… or if TNA just ends up being WCW, part II.
And we all remember how well things worked out for WCW.
NEWS & NOTES - Christian Championship Wrestling will be at the Kingsport Boys and Girls Club on Friday for a 7:30 p.m. event, a fundraiser for the Living Praise Assembly of God Youth. Tickets are $5.
- The Pro Wrestling Federation returns to Sneedville this Saturday night. Bell time is 8 p.m.
In the main event, Menace defends the PWF Heavyweight Title against Shawn Schultz and the Minister of Darkness in a three-way dance. Actually there will be four championship matches on the card.
One week later, the PWF heads back to the armory in Kingsport. A special match already has been signed, with Bobby Eaton and D.L. Eaton in tag team action against Daniel Mulligan and Big Daddy Freddie.
That’s an interesting combination right there. Remember, it was less than one year ago that Mulligan turned on Freddie during a three-on-three steel cage match. Mulligan accepted a contract offer from T.J. Dillon, then stood idly by as Terrence Tyler scorched the Groovy Grappler with a fireball.
Has Freddie forgiven and forgotten? We’ll find out on Nov. 14 in Kingsport…
- The Championship Wrestling Alliance returns to the Legion Street Rec Center in Johnson City on Nov. 14 to present “Battle Bowl 2009.” Bell time for this event is 8 p.m.
Incidentally, the CWA also is selling DVDs of its 2005 events for $10 apiece. For more, visit championshipwrestlingtv.com.
Speaking of the CWA and PWF, a Little Bird told me that my Columnist Cohort “reported” that the partnership between the two promotions had come to an end.
Actually, their inter-promotional rivalry ended back in August when the CWA defeated the PWF in Wargames.
THE MAYOR’S TOP 5 AGENDA POINTS- Kofi Kingston: He’s getting his first serious push in an apparent program with Randy Orton. It’s about time a fresh face got a look as a main eventer on “Raw.”
- Ozzy Osbourne: The rock icon and his wife, Sharon, hosted “Raw” Monday night. They did a pretty good job, but this Chief Executive still thinks Bob Barker’s been the best guest host yet.
- KENTA: The Pro Wrestling NOAH standout and regular guest star in Ring Of Honor tore his ACL last week. Looks like he’ll be out of action for six months.
- Undertaker: Word is WWE has developed a movie project surrounding the Deadman, that’s going to explore the origins of the Undertaker. This has strong potential to be an MST3K-caliber production.
- King Kong Bundy: The big man from the salad days of the Heenan Family celebrates a birthday this weekend. Celebrate the way Bundy would, and battle Richard Pryor in the back of a moving van.
--------GoTriCities--------
The Mayor writes about professional wrestling from his home in Parts Unknown. E-mail him at partsunknown@timesnews.net.
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